101 Reasons To Not Marry Women

Here’s the famous 101 Reasons To Not Marry Women list I wrote in my 6th grade English class.  Enjoy!

1. There’s over a 50% chance your marriage will end in divorce.
2. If you get divorced, you’ll lose half your stuff.
3. Women take too much time to get ready.
4. Your phone bill will go over the top.
   

   Women are too complicated.

5. All of your wife’s friends will know about your little secrets.
6. You’ll be forced to answer questions with no good answer.
7. Your wife will try to change your personality.
8. Your wife will change your wardrobe.
9. Women nag too much.
10. Women are too complicated.
    
11. Women complain twice as much for only doing half the work.
12. Women say “NO” too much.
13. Women are too stubborn.
14. Your wife will expect you to occasionally dance with her, even if you hate it.
15. You won’t be able to hang out with the guys as much.
16. You won’t be able to watch sports as much.
17. Women waste a lot of money on clothes they only wear once.
18. Women spend money on stuff they already have.
19. Women talk all day but don’t say a thing.
20. Women don’t use logic in their reasoning.
21. Your wife may trick you into having a child when you’re not ready.
22. Your wife may get jealous anytime you talk or look at another woman.
23. Women don’t enjoy sex as much as men.
24. Women give up sex for control.
    

    Women are pretty ugly without makeup. *The left image is how Pamela Anderson looks before she paints her face.

25. Women have that time of the month in which it’s like hell to be around them.
26. Women go through menopause, which can also be like hell when you’re around them.
27. You’ll be invited to go do stuff without knowing about it.
28. You’ll be forced to watch chick flicks.
29. Your wife may cheat on you.
30. Women are pretty ugly without their makeup.
31. Your sex drive may go down after being with the same woman for awhile.
32. Women are more interested in getting married than being married.
33. Weddings are expensive.
34. Women like to redecorate things by making them look girly.
35. You’ll probably find things out about your wife you don’t like once you’re married.
36. There’s a good chance your wife won’t like the same music you like.
37. You won’t be able to watch your favorite tv programs as much.
38. Women clutter up the bathrooms.
39. You’ll be obligated to buy your wife gifts she likes, even though you’ll probably receive gifts you don’t like.
40. Women bring way too many suitcases while traveling.
41. Women don’t let you spend the money you earn the way you want to.
42. Women don’t like manly smells.
43. Your wife will probably move your stuff but forgot where she moved it to.
44. You’ll be expected to share your feelings a lot.
    

    There's a good chance your car or the car you bought your wife will be wrecked by her.

45. You’ll be expected to carry everything that weighs more than 5 lbs.
46. You’ll be expected to clean up after yourself.
47. Women are too sensitive.
48. You can’t date other women anymore.
49. No more strip clubs.
50. There’s a good chance your car or the car you bought your wife will be wrecked by her.
51. You’ll give up much of your privacy.
52. You’ll lose a lot of your freedom to do what you want when you want.
53. You may be marrying a gold digger who just wants your money.
54. You may be marrying someone who just likes your looks and will divorce you once that goes downhill.
55. You may marry into annoying in-laws.
56. Women will never admit they’re wrong.
57. Women are too opinionated.
58. Your wife may become crazy and destroy your stuff.
59. Your wife may become bloodthirsty and kill you.
60. If your wife becomes a vegetable, you’ll have to devote the rest of your life taking care of her.
61. Women complain about things they have no idea about.
62. Women complain about things that never happened.
63. Women with long hair clog up the shower drains.
64. Women get grossed out too easily.
    

    Your wife will probably gain a lot of weight.

65. You’ll be expected to kill every bug in the house.
66. You’ll be expected to do more work around the house.
67. You’ll be expected to fix everything your wife breaks.
68. You’ll have to get your snoring problem treated if you have one.
69. No more breaking wind whenever you want.
70. Your wife will probably gain a lot of weight.
71. Your wife will eventually get wrinkles.
72. Your wife may get cellulite.
73. You won’t be able to always eat what you want.
74. You’ll be questioned every time you stay out late after work.
75. Women whine too much.
76. No more scratching yourself whenever you want.
77. You’ll have less room to spread out in bed.
78. When your wife’s not happy, nobody’s happy.
79. You’ll be expected to put the toilet seat back down every time you use it.
80. Women like romance, while most men don’t.
81. You’ll be expected to remember dates that are important to her, even if they mean nothing to you.
82. You’ll be expected to do a lot more foreplay than you’d like.
83. You’ll also be expected to cuddle a lot more than you’d like.
84. Your wife may want a pet when you don’t, or vice versa.
    

    Roy Sullivan, a man who survived 7 lightning strikes, committed suicide from women problems. *This image is of him showing where the lightning bolt went threw his hat.

85. Your wife may want kids when you don’t, or vice versa.
86. The world’s becoming overpopulated, so getting married to have kids may hurt future generations.
87. Your wife will probably make big decisions that should be discussed behind your back.
88. Women live longer than men because they’re usually not married to other women.
89. Wives like to embarrass their husbands in front of their friends.
90. Roy Sullivan, a man who survived 7 lightning strikes, committed suicide from women problems.
91. Nikola Tesla, one of the smartest men to ever have lived, never got married.
92. A ring on a woman’s finger results in 2 rings under a man’s eyes.
93. Losing a wife can be hard.  In many cases, it’s impossible.
94. Marriage is like a hot tub.  Once you get use to it, it’s not so hot.
95. It’s a lot more efficient to just find a woman you hate and buy her a house.
96. Women will complain so loudly about your problems that anybody within a 10-mile radius will hear it.
97. Women are inconsistent.
98. Women are too emotional.
99. You’ll have to come up with some extravagant proposal.
100. Weddings can be nerve-wracking.
101. Marriage requires 4 rings from a man:
     1. Engagement-Ring
     2. Wedding-Ring
     3. Suffe-Ring
     4. Endu-Ring

I’m not totally against men getting married, but it’s not for many, including myself.  Marriages can work, but men must learn to keep their mouth shut and their checkbook open.  You have to decide if all this suffering is worth the reward.  Think before you link.

Tagged as: battle of the sexes, men, reasons to not marry, women